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You know what I realize, in adulthood, I don’t get? Hard candy. What is the value in hard candy? Now, I am excluding mints. Mints I understand, and mints are sort of candy adjacent. I get popping a mint in your mouth and sucking on it for a bit. It’s refreshing. When it comes to candy, though, why do you want something you can’t chew? Or, why get something that is hard to chew, like Runtz?
Why do you want to pop some candy in your mouth and just leave it there? That’s not what food is for! Also, how often do you get tired of it, and then you want to starting chewing it? You can’t, though, because it is hard candy. So, you just have to deal with it some more, or give up on it. This is extended to suckers and lollipops as well, though I can’t recall ever seeing an adult having a sucker outside of clips of Kojak. At least he was trying to quit smoking. Jawbreakers and those other onerous hard candies are the most egregious, though I feel like anybody over the age of 13 realizes those are trash and not real foodstuffs.
When it comes to candy, it better be chewable, even chewy. Unless I’m having a mint, food needs to be, you know, food. Stuff you chew and swallow, not something that sits in your mouth and slowly dissolves. Hard pass on hard candy.
