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1.) We’re very happy to be speaking today with author, entrepreneur and founder of SoulCare Marta Hobbs; greetings and salutations, Marta! Before we dive down the proverbial Q&A rabbit hole, how has your New Year been treating you thus far?
Pretty amazing, thanks for asking!
2.) Congratulations on the upcoming February 14 release of your highly anticipated memoir Unraveling! For those that might not be in the know, can you explain what Unraveling is all about?
Thank you. I am so excited about this book finally coming into the world. It has been a three-year journey in writing, producing and self-publishing it and I am thrilled to finally share my journey with others!
Unraveling is a book about my life, from the viewpoint of getting to a “peak point” of my journey – where everything I had been working for and dreaming of came true – and then the heart-breaking crisis which met me there. I had made it. I had successfully retired, sold the business I started and grew, moved to Paris, France – all before I turned 40 – incredible! I was in a happy marriage and a mom to two beautiful children; I was financially independent; I found an amazing new community where I finally felt at home. It was supposed to be unicorns and rainbows from here on out but instead it was panic attacks, anxiety and a heart issue. Kind of a bummer! Lol. It was this dark time that set me forth on a completely different path than the one I had anticipated and planned. I started my search for healing which began with digging into my childhood trauma and looking at growing up under communism, running away from my homeland with my family and arriving in America as a teenage political refugee. These events created huge wounds in me as a child and time came to understand, navigate and process them – in order to release them and become free. This took nearly a decade and became a spiritual journey and I share this incredible ride with my readers. By exposing my most vulnerable and most painful experiences I try to shed light on the fact that facing those hard moments is what eventually liberates us. I share what this looked like for me, as risky as it is to put it all “out there” from such depts of my heart and expose it to complete strangers. But I believe that my story serves a much bigger purpose – and that is to give others hope in the midst of their own suffering and practical steps on the journey of healing and finding our true selves. This is my mission with this book – to reconnect my readers with their hearts.
3.) Unraveling hits close to home for you, obviously. Was it cathartic to write about your own life journey and all of the hardships and triumphs you’ve undergone through the years?
It was. And the writing started as a process just for me during therapy. As I was revisiting some of the most challenging periods of my childhood, I found a lot of old feelings and emotions coming back to me. I started remembering things I had completely forgotten. I started having dreams about things I totally blocked out. My therapist encouraged me to write all this down and intuitively I started connecting to the younger versions of myself asking “what else do you need to say?” At first, it was just to release all of that pain I had been carrying for so long. To process some of the anger, frustration, sadness, loneliness and fear. But as I wrote more and more, it also became a way to honor the young woman and little girl in me who had survived so much. It was a way to speak and voice things that I wasn’t allowed to express as a kid. It felt freeing and extremely healing. I took the story further and continued writing about my life as an adult – still carrying the old pain into the personality I developed – “the becoming.” I described how it drove me to succeed and achieve – and while it helped me to reach some incredible accomplishments in life – it is also what eventually broke me. It’s fascinating when you can zoom out enough to see it all and connect the dots! Because once you understand – you can choose to make different choices and take back the power of being in charge of your own life. Life becomes less about what happens to you and more about who you are being – and that is, in my opinion, the author of your own story. You create your experience – this is what I learned. Once I discovered this, I started to shape the story for the reader, in the hopes that this process may be helpful to other people who are also struggling and stuffing down childhood trauma because of habit or lack of awareness. I wanted to show how much it controls us and shapes who we become. We cope with it in many ways – staying busy, constantly running and overachieving was my way to escape the old pain. I wanted to use my life as an example for people to see themselves in my story. I really wanted to offer the help I so desperately needed myself when everything broke for me – to offer this to others in a similar point of breaking down. I just wanted to give them permission to fully unravel – because freedom sits on the other side of that. Then I wrote what life looks like once you unravel and come home to yourself. To give hope and a little taste of living soul-led. This is what my life is about now – bringing this to other people while living it myself.
4.) Did you find it necessary prior to starting to write Unraveling to give those closest to you in your life a quick heads-up about what you were going to be exploring in the book?
Initially no. Initially I wrote it just for myself, so it was raw and messy and not ready for anyone else’s eyes but my own. I hoped nobody would see it actually, because it was filled with unexpressed emotions of a child . But the first draft was necessary because all of what it described was valid for the younger me and needed to get released. Once I could gain distance from the raw emotions, I could understand myself better. Understanding myself better gave me perspective and wisdom on my past. This allowed me to write a second and then a third version. Those were then looked at by editors who guided me to either go deeper into something or clear it up a bit. It was at the point of deciding that I was going to publish that I spent a lot of time reading the manuscript out loud with those closest to me in mind. “How would they hear this?” “How would their friends feel after reading this?” I knew the intention behind this book was healing and I wanted every ounce of it to be held in love – and so then I would just check if every sentence and paragraph was in clear alignment with that. If not – if something still felt angry or biting or came from a place of victimhood or a wounded child – I knew I had more healing around it. Once that was cleaned up (this is why it took three years to be ready!) – I let my family members read it. I wanted to honor them with the chance to talk about anything that was hurtful before the book was published. The healing took part within myself first, then within my family, and now – hopefully – “Unraveling” can also offer healing to its readers. That is my hope and desire!
5.) Along the path of writing Unraveling, what surprised you the most as you studied and wrote about your journey?
How much wisdom I gathered from zooming out and looking at my life through a much wider lens. I started to see the patterns I was stuck in; how the same situations would reappear in my life but with slightly different circumstances; how much I would seek them out even though they weren’t what I wanted deep down – but they were what felt familiar. I started to understand why I think the way I think; why I’m wired the way I’m wired; why I get in certain relationships and friendships; why certain situations are so triggering to me. The amount of self-awareness I gained was incredible – and I realized just how little I really knew myself. This was really surprising and also amazing. I came to see just how much time we spend as humans projecting a “version” of ourselves to the world (oftentimes it is many versions, depending on who we are with) and then seeing the “versions” other people project of themselves. This is why, in my opinion, intimacy and true connection is so hard to come by these days. We are so disconnected from our true selves – we do not have a very deep capacity for connection with others. Self-awareness changes that. Self-love too. How can you love yourself if you know yourself so very little? Do you ever consider that? It blew my mind.
6.) What do you hope readers walk away with after doing a deep-dive into Unraveling?
Three points.
One – if you are struggling in life and things feel off and you are suffering – this isn’t the end of the world, although it certainly feels like it is (it did for me!). This is an invitation to go deeper – to see what is underneath the façade you present to the world and to connect to your heart and to encounter your soul. These moments, these crises in our lives, are actually “sacred doorways” as I like to call them. Invitations to go within, to take the journey inward, to set out on the spiritual path – and I explain what that is and how to get there. Because we hear these terms often without much of a map for this destination. I offer this as well as practical tools on what worked for me when I went through this – my own crisis, which became a spiritual awakening.
Two – if you are working hard, succeeding and achieving – are you losing yourself in it? Is there a clear identity of who you are outside of your work and accomplishments? Because if you are your job, your title, your role – once those go away – down goes your identity. This is what happened to me, and it was a terrible lostness and confusion and depression. I want to alleviate that for those who are leading businesses and taking the world by storm as entrepreneurs. This is important work – because we need leaders connected to their hearts and true selves – so that the leading they do is grounded, healthy and balanced. We are seeing too much burn out, stress and anxiety and it doesn’t have to be this way. You are not your work/job – you express who you are through your work/job. Huge distinction.
My third point (and these aren’t really in any kind of order) is the experience I share of what it was like immigrating to the US when I was a teenager. Most people I encounter don’t know what it feels like to be displaced from one’s homeland, to come with nothing but a backpack without being able to say goodbye to friends or family. We arrive so wounded – and what we often encounter isn’t an open-armed welcome and a sense of “home.” It was such a tough part of my life and I just wanted to open the hearts of my readers to take this in – to show them and invite them into the heartbreak it caused me. And the only purpose here is simply sharing my pain – the pain of all refugees and immigrants. It is a difficult path – the path of the foreigner, the outsider, the one who never belongs. I think we all feel this on some level in life – but we forget or run from it because it hurts. I think if we open to it instead and see it in one another – it could be something that heals and brings us together.
7.) Four Seasons New York Downtown is partnering with you as you launch Unraveling as well as your new Soul Leadership Initiative SoulCare. What does that sort of support mean to you personally?*
I am honored and so grateful for the partnership and support of Four Seasons New York Downtown in the launch of my SoulCare practice. This is something I have developed during my decade-long journey of healing and spirituality. It is what helps me to connect to my heart, stay centered, and live soul-led. The incredible support and encouragement of the team at FSNYD and their trust and faith in me were a massive confirmation that I was on the right path with my offering. It showed me that there is interest and that what I do, when I offer it up in service to others, can have an impact. It was, and it still is, a gift to me.
8.) Speaking of SoulCare, can you talk with readers today about this fascinating exploration into healing and self-discovery? How did SoulCare come into being?
SoulCare came into being as I was on my healing journey. I practiced meditation and breathwork. I did all kinds of yoga. I experimented with somatic therapy and nervous system regulation. I did grounding practices and got certified in half of this stuff. I was on a mission. When Covid came, I found myself really anxious and stressed and I learned that I needed a regular spiritual self-care routine – my own way to start the day. If I didn’t stick to some of my non-negotiables’, I ended up spiraling down and struggling through the day. So I wrote down a list of all the things that made me feel good and made my day go well – and I promised myself to stick to them daily. Before I knew it, I had combined a lot of what I learned into its own practice, and I started sharing it with others as meditation series during the pandemic. I kept finetuning and changing it as I learned new things and I just tested it out on myself. The final version, interestingly enough, came together while I was at the Four Seasons Paris during lockdown as their only guest. And the name SoulCare came to me while I was journaling (something I encourage everyone to do after a SoulCare session) on the beach in the Caribbean.
9.) For anyone reading our interview today that might be interested in exploring SoulCare, how can they get the ball rolling?
You can check out my website at www.MartaHobbs.com/SoulCare for more details. I offer some online sessions via zoom, in addition to the in-person sessions at Four Seasons New York Downtown. The in-person sessions can be booked directly with the spa where I have a two-week residency three times a year. My website has all the info.
Reading my book “Unraveling” is a great place to start too. In the last chapter I offer a free SoulCare session as well as a link to an audio version of a short (10 min) practice and a full SoulCare session which comes in a resources page available after reading the book. Book is available on amazon now at: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BSF3JZP6
10.) You hail from the beautiful country of Poland. How does that country and its rich history inform you as the person you are today?
Poland really is beautiful, that’s true! The country is rich in natural landscapes – from mountains, lakes, rivers and forests to beaches, seaside towns and numerous natural parks. Growing up around all of this resulted in my really being connected to nature. I love being surrounded by trees and flowers and being out in nature has always been a way that I recharge my batteries. I grew up near the Baltic Sea so the beach is still the one place I go to reset and restore. I’ve just discovered the Caribbean Islands since being a kid – and that sea water tends to be a little bit warmer! Lol. I love the sun too.
The second thing I really embody from my country is warmth and hospitality. I love to host, I love cooking, and I love being around my family. I love to dress up and feel festive. Celebrations are important to us and that is something I treasure.
Lastly, if you know anything about Polish history – it is filled with wars, battles and revolts. From fighting both the Nazis and the Russians during World War II to the Warsaw Uprising and the Solidarity Movement… there have been many reasons to fight for our rights – all of those just in one century! Poland even disappeared off the map of Europe for over 100 years – leaving the people to fight for their land back. What I carry in me from all of this is my relentless pursuit of freedom – my own and of those under oppression. I fight for my independence and individuality. I am strong, brave and courageous. I am a fighter, a warrior and I do not easily give up. I am here to do big things and Iike doing them my way! I am a bit of a rebel.
11.) When sitting down to write Unraveling, were there any authors that inspired your own words?
Yes. One of the biggest ones was Jeanette Walls who is the author of “The Glass Castle.” This book inspired me to share my brokenness – the parts of myself and my life that I had worked so hard to hide from people for most of my life. When I read about her painful and traumatic way of being raised as a child – I understood how important it is to share this. Because despite of how she got started – where she ended up is amazing. And this gave me so much hope while I was healing thinking “I am too broken to ever come out of this okay.” It was an example of how someone who had so much happen to them while so little can still lead a beautiful and fulfilling life AND that the “messy” parts and painful memories are often that which make us so uniquely brilliant and deeply feeling individuals. It made me see that what I needed to do was accept, embrace and love the parts of myself that I was ashamed of and wanted to abandon. And that this is what actually connects me to others – the vulnerable, weak, scared and unsure side of me. When I am strong, confident, put-together and driven – I am often unapproachable. I wanted to shatter my tough external façade and live from my soft and tender heart instead. I cried reading that book from the opening line to the last word. It was the first time I even considered that I might have something to share with the world.
12.) Any final words that you might like to share with readers about both Unraveling and SoulCare?
Just that I hope you will give it a whirl. I think it is something we all need, although we might not know it. I certainly didn’t think I needed a spiritual practice when I was running my business and breaking record sales and succeeding. But if I slowed down just a bit and checked in with my heart, I might have learned that I wasn’t taking care of it too well. I see so many leaders running on empty and pouring out from already empty cups – overworked, stressed, unhealthy, exhausted, nearly burned out. Whether you’re running a large business or your small family – not losing yourself in the process is what will save you a lot of suffering later. I just want to remind everyone that they are a SOUL with a human experience and I am here to offer tools on how to connect to that sacred space within each of us. The book is a great place to get started.
Thank you.
