The Muppets do a lot. They sing. They dance. They ride bicycles. For decades, the Muppets have been entertaining people and also making some of us wonder why we always watch new Muppet stuff even though our final assessment is basically always “That was pretty good.” What else could they do? Play baseball perhaps. Here are the five Muppets we think would be the best at baseball.
1. Lew Zealand
Zealand is famed for his look and for the fact he throws fish all the time. The dude loves throwing fish. Now, it tends to be a boomerang fish. Still, we think we can transition him into being a pitcher. He’s got quite the arm. A little bit of work and he’ll be an ace in no time.
There’s an asterisk on this one, because we need there to be a designated hitter for us to use Rizzo. If there is, though, he’s in the lineup. Rizzo is quite low to the ground. His strike zone is basically impossible to hit. Essentially, anytime Rizzo gets to the plate he’s getting a walk. That’s a free base runner. However, if he has to play in the field then we can’t use him. There’s nowhere in the field he works.
3. Bobo the Bear
Bobo has some size to him. We’ll probably have to stick him at first base, but we bet he can hit. He’s also a little more serious than other Muppets. Like, can you imagine Fozzie paying attention in a baseball game? He’s be making errors like crazy. Bobo will take care of business, and we think he’ll show some power. Not much base-running speed, but power.
4. Miss Piggy
Piggy’s karate skills show that she can get some arm speed going, and we think she’ll have good bat speed. Our only fear is that she might be worried about getting dirty or messing her hair up. However, Piggy is quite competitive. Get her revved up and she might be the top player on the team.
5. Swedish Chef
Swedish Chef has human hands. That has to make it easier to hold the bat, right? Also to get a glove that fits, to throw a baseball, etc. Hey, sometimes you have to be practical.