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The Simpsons is America’s longest running sitcom, and it’s no fluke. It’s gifted us a deep well of classic pop culture references and timeless one-liners that are still as ‘cromulent’ as ever. Today we’re going to relive 5 of our favourite classic episodes, all of which are from the mid-90s (and most of which are from season 5, The Simpson’s best ever season); widely considered to be the golden years. Unfortunately a lot of classics miss out, such as ‘Dog of Death’ (where Kent Brockman wins a US Lottery) and ‘Marge vs. the Monorail’.
This list could easily be 50 episodes long, but we must draw the line somewhere!
Homer Goes to College (Season 5)
This hilarious episode (written by Conan O’Brien) sees Homer convinced that classic frat movies like ‘Animal House’ and ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ are accurate portrayals of college life. Considering himself a ‘jock’, Homer thinks it’s his duty to hassle nerds, pull pranks and wage war on the ‘crusty, bitter old dean’ (who in reality is friendly and charming).
When Homer somehow causes a meltdown during a training simulation at the nuclear power plant, Mr Burns has him enrolled at Springfield University to study nuclear physics. When he causes another meltdown in class, 3 nerds are asked to tutor him, and Homer convinces them they should all steal pig mascot ‘Sir Oinks-A-Lot’ from rival college Springfield A&M and get it loaded with booze. The nerds get caught out and expelled, so Homer invites them to live with the Simpson family.
It shows Homer at his most juvenile, especially when he chases a squirrel for no reason while giggling like a school girl.
Memorable line: ‘Hello, Dean? You are a stupid head!’
Last Exit to Springfield (Season 4)
Regarded by many to be the greatest Simpsons episode of all time, Last Exit is a masterpiece. Even half-baked Simpsons fans will know a tonne of moments from this episode, from Homer protesting the lateness of his food (‘Where’s my burrito!? Where’s my burrito!?’), to Bart telling little kids that their teeth will be used to supply the rattles in spray paint cans.
Mr Burns tries to convince plant staff to give up their dental plan in exchange for a free keg of beer at union meetings. Homer eventually realises that this will mean he has to pay for Lisa’s new braces, so he takes on the role as union president to fight the change.
With homages galore and timeless gag after timeless gag, even if this isn’t actually the best episode ever, it’s got to be pretty darn close.
Memorable line: ‘Dental plan! Lisa needs braces. Dental plan! Lisa needs braces. Dental plan! Lisa needs braces. Dental plan! Lisa needs braces.’
Secrets of a Successful Marriage (Season 5)
When Homer decides to teach an adult education class about the Secrets of a Successful Marriage, his pupils soon notice he’s unprepared and a terrible teacher. To keep their interest, he starts to tell them personal stories about his own marriage. He tries to convince the class that the stories are about someone else, but accidentally outs himself and Marge as the anonymous couple. The class laps it up and hangs on his every word. Homer takes things too far when he invites them all to his house to ‘watch the human peep show that is our lives’. Marge is furious. She kicks Homer out of home and she begins to question whether their marriage has a future or not.
There’s solid gold in this episode, such as Moe’s ‘Funk Dancing for Self-Defence’ class, Hans Moleman’s ‘Orange Eating’ class and a homeless Homer trying to replace Marge with a plant.
Memorable line: ‘Look, Marge, you don’t know what it’s like. I’m the one out there every day putting his ass out on the line! And I’m not out of order! You’re out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can’t handle the truth! Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face, you’ll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it’s Chinatown!’
Cape Feare (Season 5)
In this hilarious parody of ‘Cape Fear’, Bart finds himself being stalked by Sideshow Bob, who’s out for revenge after being released from prison.
Bob uses his own blood to send hate letters to Bart (that is, until he faints) and goes out of his way to intimidate the family.
The court hears Bob’s case for parole, and despite having a huge chest tattoo that says, ‘Die Bart, die’ (he manages to convince the court that this is in fact German for ‘The Bart, the’) Bob is released.
The police decide to put the Simpsons under the witness relocation program, where we get to see Homer wearing an hilarious ‘Witness Relocation Program’ t-shirt and hat combo. After being given a choice of new places to live (Cape Fear, New Horrorfield, Terror Lake and Screamville, which Homer mishears as ‘Icecreamville’) they decide to settle at Terror Lake where they live in a houseboat. Sideshow Bob follows them there and intimidates them at every opportunity.
This episode is a brilliant parody and is definitely the best Sideshow Bob episode ever written.
Memorable line: ‘We object to the term, “urine-soaked hellhole”, when you could have said, “pee pee-soaked heckhole.”’
Deep Space Homer (Season 5)
After another ‘boring space launch’, NASA’s popularity takes a dive. To try and boost their TV ratings, NASA decides to send an ‘average shmoe’ into space.
NASA decides to pit Homer and Barney against one another to determine who gets to take the mission. Barney, required to abstain from alcohol during the trials, wipes the floor with Homer and is quickly declared the winner. Much to Homer’s disappointment, he discovers there’s no swimsuit competition and that he shaved his bikini zone for nothing. To celebrate Barney’s triumph, he’s given a bottle of champagne. Despite it being alcohol-free, he loses his mind, flies off in a jetpack and gets run over by a marshmallow truck. Homer is declared the winner by ‘the two sweetest words in the English dictionary: de fault!’
Homer’s trip into space gets him the respect he craves all through the episode, and along the way manages to single-handedly threaten the safety of everyone on board the shuttle.
This is a hilarious episode and Homer’s tale of woe upon not getting to meet Mr T is a fan favourite.
Memorable line: ‘Gentlemen, you’ve both worked very hard. And in a way, you’re both winners. But in another, more accurate way, Barney is the winner.’
There may have been a perceived drop-off in quality since the golden years, but how many shows can claim over 700 episodes? If the quality wasn’t still there, The Simpsons would have stopped making money and been cancelled years go. Yes, the best years are long gone. Even so, there’s something comforting about re-watching these classic episodes for the 500th time, all these years later.
