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Growing up, I was always more of a Choose Your Own Adventure sorta kid versus a fan of the mucho vaunted Dungeons & Dragons. This brought much scorn and ridicule from my hipper magic dice throwing pals and so, in a fit of determination, I tried to go along with the crowd. Peer pressure is never a good thing, kiddies: Like a straight arrow bound and determined to pick up a nasty little heroin habit, I went to our local B. Dalton bookstore in the small New York town I was growing up in and bought with my hard earned allowance several of their hardcover Dungeons & Dragons player’s manuals, convinced that this sort of deep-dive into the D&D trenches would not only curry favor with my fellow nerds, but would also make me a more well-rounded renaissance man, seemingly able to attract the fairer sex with but one whiff of my unparalleled and newfound knowledge of goblins and magical realms. Yep, Dungeons & Dragons was my seventh grade version of Spanish Fly. Except of course, it wasn’t. It didn’t take me long to abandon my quest to conquer fairy kingdoms and win a date with the queen of my junior high. Ere long, I was back to reading my dog-eared copies of Choose Your Own Adventure, my fantasy and role-playing tail tucked firmly between my legs.
I hadn’t really thought of the above traumatic experiences for years until I realized that I really oughta have a warm-up preamble for today’s breaking news from those magicians of the Underworld The Hollywood Reporter about the latest from the upcoming production of an honest-to-Pete live action Dungeons & Dragons movie.
Per those Dungeon Masters of pop culture comes the news that no less than two thespians have been added to the already star-studded cast of the eagerly awaited D&D flick: Hugh Grant (Four Weddings and a Funeral, The Remains of the Day) and Sophia Lillis (It, I Am Not Okay with This) will join the ranks of actors par excellence Chris Pine (Everwood) and Michelle Rodriguez (Lost) for the upcoming big screen adaptation that will hopefully be at least marginally better than the 2000 Jeremy Irons effort that belly flopped upon arrival at the box office. Hope, like an enchanted brook, springs eternal. See what I did there?
The new iteration of Dungeons & Dragons is set to be directed by Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley of Game Night fame and will feature Hugh Grant playing the Big Bad of the piece. Sophia Lillis – one of the better actors of her generation – will essay a character named Doric.
So tentatively I put away my Choose Your Own Adventure books and suit up for one more foray into the lands of Dungeons & Dragons. How will it turn out this time? Stay tuned, Constant Reader for details on that along with future news of release dates, new casting, etc.
