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As much as we give credit to our media for bringing fame to fifty shades of grey to introduce us to the BDSM world, the entirety of it is not true because it is not a millennial event. It is an ancient concept. There have been mentions of it in various cultures including Indian Ancient scriptures of Kama Sutra and celebration for Dionysus (Bacchus) – an ancient Roman festival celebrating women whipping and flogging each other. The kama sutra also mentions “Sometimes carried away by passion, a woman puts aside her natural temperament and acts the part of the man by slapping and beating him” clearly referring to what we call the Modern BDSM.
What does BDSM mean?
The term BDSM was originated in 1969 which roughly today stands to the three practices of Bondage- Discipline, Dominant- Submissive and Sadism and Masochism. Before understanding and digging deep, let’s just talk about some basic lingo of the BDSM practices.
What is Bondage Discipline?
The B/D element of BDSM refers to the sexual acts where the dominant partners refrain and restrain the submissive from certain things. For example- Refrain the act of touch by cuffing the hands behind the chair. While Discipline focuses on behavior modifications of the submissive by giving him/her punishments for the Invoking the refrain commands. The punishments can be physical or psychological including spanking and dirty humiliating talk.
What is Dominant- Submissive?
As the name suggests, the D/S element of BDSM refers to the dominant and the submissive partner. The dominant is responsible for dominating the act while the submissive gives up control of his/her pleasure to the dominant.
What is Sadism and Masochism?
The S/M element of BDSM refers to inflicting and receiving pain. The sadist gives the pain and the masochist enjoys the pleasure that came along with the pain. The Dominant submissive and Sadism and masochism are somewhat similar with the only difference that dominant and submissive may or may not include the infliction of pain while the sadist and masochist play with the pleasure and the pain.
This can easily be observed that BDSM is all about power exchange. While one partner chose to be the master, the other surrenders his key to arousal and pleasure to the master. The surrendered is bound to draw the boundaries of what is acceptable and what is not. Hence, BDSM is Power exchange on the terms of consent and negotiation.
The BDSM terminology is vast and has its own A to Z. A beginner to the BDSM world must first connect to its inner self to decide the role of whether they want to dominant, submissive, or the switch. The switch is the person who likes switching roles and is willing to be the Master and the slave both by taking turns.
Some expert tips for the beginners to BDSM
– Talk- communicating your sexual fantasies and desires to your partner is important. People are allowed to feel shy to have such talk with their partner. You can always write a letter to your lover expressing what you feel and what you need. Tell them, they are open to hearing their perspective on the issue and are willing to take a no as an answer as well because not everybody is expected to be in BDSM. Show your partner that you care for their willingness as well. Never rush yourself into BDSM. Take your time to communicate and try to reach on the same page step by step.
– Consent- it is the most important aspect of any physical relationship. Be it traditional sex or BDSM, Consent is always required. In the case of BDSM, it is necessary to understand what is going to happen and it can be stopped at any moment if required.
– Safe Words- the Roleplay and BDSM includes screams, Shouts, and even cussing sometimes all in an enjoyable way. Hence, at any moment it might get difficult to actually under the literal “No” or the orgasmic No. Having some safe words in the pocket can help to stop the action right away if it doesn’t feel right.
– Start Small- As a beginner, don’t rush into hardcore BDSM. Start small. Use blindfolds, handcuffs, satin scarves, edible panties, etc rather than tapes, belts, and ropes.
What to buy and Where to buy BDSM products?
Dress for a job and slay it stands true for BDSM as well. You can always go for some latex costumes, eye patches, feather cuffs, satin blindfolds to complete the BDSM runaway look. Apart from the dressing up part, take things to a notch with gag balls, Chokers, Whip, Paddles, and more. There is no end to products in the BDSM world.
Cirillas– One of the best online sex toy shops offers a huge range of BDSM products including beginner’s kits, ball gags, BDSM furniture, Cock gear, Nipple clamps, and more. Cirillas love to serve the people who are ready to take their sexual pleasure to the next level. We offer huge discounts along with Assured quality products and discreet shipping. Visit our website today to get that kink out of your system.
