Getting a divorce is a very stressful emotional and overwhelming experience. Everything around you changes, your world turns upside down, so just imagine, when you have kids, what they might be going through with the whole separation thing. No matter what age your child is, it can still be very traumatizing for them. How will it feel to have your beloved parents separating from each other and that nothing is ever going to be the same. According to the divorce attorney Cumming, GA, they have seen the kids who see their parents go through a divorce at a young age, experience changes in them such as anxiety, anger, or some kids even blame themselves for the separation of their parents.
You don’t have to worry about it as it is completely normal, but letting those issues stay is not, so what you need to do is help them get through with the divorce process, let them vent their anger or feelings about the separation that their parents are going forward with. Kids are like flowers, fragile, and wanting to be loved, your simple patience and listening skills can make a bigger difference in your kids’ lives. They can come out of it feeling confident and strong and they will be able to accept every change.
Needs of children
It is imperative for you to understand the needs of your children.
- What they want is for both parents to be involved in their lives. A child needs a mother as much as he or she needs a father. If you show less involvement, they start to feel that their importance in your life is less.
- They don’t need to see their parents fighting as it may disturb them. So try to agree on the matters related to the kids.
- They want to spend some quality time with their brother, father and mother, so it would be nice if you both spent quality time with them. It would be even nice if the father and mother come together to spend time with them, this could calm them down and make them feel that even after the divorce things are going to be fine.
- Don’t make your kids your messengers, if you have a message for your ex-spouse then communicate with them directly, don’t tell your kids to give the message to the other parent. This would get them thinking that things are getting worse.
- Don’t say ill about your ex-spouse, especially in front of your kids. If you do anything of that sort, your kids might feel that you want them to take their side, which would put them in a dilemma and would stress them out.
Inform the Kids about Divorce
When it comes to telling the kids about your divorce it would be best if you inform them what is going on. But how do you do that?
- Early-stage – Inform your kids about divorce at an early stage when you and your spouse are planning about it. This will give them time to think and accept the fact. If you just surprise them with the information they will go into a state of shock.
- Tell the truth – Your kids have the right to know the truth about their parents which in every manner concerns them. Don’t hide things from them, but try to simplify things to them like “we are not able to get along”, because telling the hardcore truth may confuse them and might increase your problem rather than solving it.
- Address the changes – you need to address the fact that things are going to change, and no matter what, you will be there for them at every occasion. Let them know that you can deal with things together.
- Tell how much you love them – Saying I love you to your kids shows that irrespective of the situation, you love for them will remain the same.
- Avoid blaming – Honesty is essential but without being brutally critical about your soon to be ex-spouse. This situation can be hurtful for them and may change their mindset about their parents. So it is better to avoid the blame game and let them know that things are fine between and your spouse
- Show unity – Try to agree as much as you both can especially on the matters that concern your kids.
- Think before you speak – It would be nice if you plan before saying anything on the matter of divorce to your kids. IT would be even better if you speak with your spouse’s presence.
- Respect – Show respect towards your spouse and kids’ opinion.
A research that was done by the experts on divorce, says that you will be able to take care of your kids only if you take care of yourself. Quite a few Divorce attorneys Cumming, GA, were interviewed and they shared their opinions based on their clients that it is an emotional phase for people and their kids going through a divorce and this phase lets them do things that they usually don’t do. Things such as isolation, reduction in intake of food, burying themselves in work in order to forget to avoid these situations.
These will deteriorate the condition and in this condition, no one can take care of a child. IT is always better to take care of yourself, you can also undergo therapy sessions to calm your nerves and understand your emotions.
- Eat healthily and workout – Eating good and healthy food that will help boost your immunity. A good immunity system means a happy mind. Working out releases the pressure as you can vent all your aggression while exercising. This will help you in channelizing your energy in the right and healthy direction and you will feel good inside out.
- Write how you feel – Keeping a journal and writing about your feeling helps in venting out your emotions. This will help you in keeping your mind at peace. And in the future when you will look back and read those pages, you will see the changes in yourself, how far you have come, and how much you have grown as a person.
- Meet friends – Don’t isolate yourself whatsoever, meet your friends, talk to them, share your experiences with them, go out with them. Friends are the best remedy to divert mind and are happy, friends can make you feel loved and enjoyed at any point of time and they will never leave your side.