How to Establish a Fun, Healthy and Intimate Relationship with Your Partner

Although Hollywood would have you believe otherwise, relationships are not like the movies in real life. Falling in love and staying in love are two different things, and the latter requires work and attention. Many relationships become stale, or break down and fail entirely for a number of reasons, a lack of communication, loss of intimacy or trust, or simply things becoming stale. Building a healthy, loving relationship is an ongoing process, and as all relationships are unique there is no hard and fast way to nurture one. But there are consistent reasons why they fall apart, so it is possible to broadly identify areas which can and should be worked on. For many of us, a strong and healthy relationship provides a stable and secure foundation on which to build a healthy and happy life and is something most people aspire to have. Here are some ways to keep your relationship on the right path.

Communication

Clear, open and honest communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Being able to address issues, raise ideas and give and receive support in a safe, constructive way, or being able to let off steam is crucial in building mutual respect, and often in solving small problems before they snowball unnecessarily into something larger. If you are upset or concerned about any aspect of your relationship, don’t bottle up your feelings, communicate. Tell your partner what is important to you, and encourage them to reciprocate. You should be able to share whatever you need to, and build a base of support and understanding.

Compromise is also an important part of any relationship, and strong communication to reach conclusions which you feel are mutually beneficial for your lives and your partnership will help you grow stronger together. Remember, your partner may know you better than anyone else, but they are not a mind reader. And it is vital to listen when your partner talks to you, and look for non-verbal signs that they may be using. Not all communication is spoken, and it may be subconscious – ask your partner questions, and be prepared to support and understand their point of view, even if you don’t agree.

Make time for each other

Remember when your relationship began? Chances are, you and your partner couldn’t spend enough time together. Dates, punctuated by calls and texts, some romantic or longing, others racy. As a relationship develops, sometimes we lose that initial spark, and our communications are reduced to hurried, practical text messages, or curt phone calls. While modern, digital communications are useful, don’t treat your relationship like a business. It may sound cheesy, but having a ‘date night’ really works – dressing up for each other, going to a restaurant, a movie, whatever it is. But most importantly, having some real face time together.

Falling in love is a multi-sensory experience, and looking and listening is a big part of it. And outside of dating, putting some effort into everyday exchanges is gratifying to give and receive – a note in a packed lunch, a surprise gift, or simply a passionate kiss to see them off to work.

Intimacy

We talked about love being a multi-sensory thing – a part of many relationships that goes stale or ‘dries up’ is with physical intimacy. Affectionate contact boosts chemicals in our brain to make us feel warm, secure and happy, and can be achieved with hugging, kissing and hand-holding. Making an effort to keep physical contact a part of the routine of a relationship can have a massive effect on how you view one another overall and keeps the spark alive. And while sex is only one aspect of intimacy, it is an important one.

An active and healthy sex life helps to keep a relationship vibrant and exciting, but is one area where many couples report problems. Whether you need simply to make an effort to have regular sex, or you wish to introduce some racier solutions, such as role-play, sex toys or kinkier stuff, sexual activity also boosts your mental and physical wellbeing and brings you closer together. Couples with children or with busy, high stress working lives are particularly prone to letting things slide in the bedroom. Much like with date night, it is important to set aside time to be physically intimate together. Even simple things such as spooning in bed can keep your relationship burning brightly.

Space

While it is important to foster meaningful time together, it is equally healthy to set aside time and space for yourselves. Being able to be apart, pursuing other interests or hobbies helps to make time spent together more special. Having outside interests also means you can share new ideas or activities, or simply have more to talk about. Having a healthy relationship should mean that you are comfortable and secure in your own company, and help you to feel more complete, happy and fulfilled in life.

A healthy relationship is the cornerstone of a happy and successful life. But much like a beautiful garden, upkeep on a relationship means having to keep working at it and crucially, making it a pleasurable, vital endeavour that you can share with your significant other.

About RJ Frometa

Head Honcho, Editor in Chief and writer here on VENTS. I don't like walking on the beach, but I love playing the guitar and geeking out about music. I am also a movie maniac and 6 hours sleeper.

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