Since new movies in the theaters are basically not a thing at the moment, I’ve been going back in five-year increments to look at what movies were coming out around that time. So far I’ve done it twice, for 2015 and 2010. Both of those were pretty bleak. Will 2005 be any better? Perhaps, because for those two I was doing March. This time around, I’m going to go half March, half April. Usually around April is when the bigger movies are starting to come out. Well, that’s true now, but was it true in 2005?
March, it turns out, is still terrible. Even if I look at the whole month it’s not even mediocre. The best movie to come out in March of 2005 is…I can’t choose. We’ve got three bad sequels in The Ring Two, Be Cool and Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous. Get Shorty is so good! How is Be Cool so bad? I walked out of it at the theater. They remade Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? and put Ashton Kutcher in it. Vin Diesel had a movie come out, but it was The Pacifier. I guess Beauty Shop is kind of a sequel too, isn’t it?