On Thanksgiving, you will probably eat turkey while watching TV. At the very least, you will fall asleep in front of the TV after eating too much turkey. Sometimes, though, we watch turkeys on TV. Perhaps literally, but also figuratively. You know what I mean when I say a show, or a televisual event, was a real turkey. It was a flop. It was a fiasco. It was a failure. Over 2019, there have been many a TV turkey in my mind. I decided to highlight a few of them.
I am going to start by talking some trash about The Masked Singer. I know it’s popular. I don’t care. I think that’s morbid curiosity. I don’t get it. It’s just people in weird costumes singing. How does the novelty not wear off? The hosts are a cavalcade of people I don’t like. Or I guess they are judges, though I also don’t really like Nick Cannon much either. Robin Thicke? In 2019? JENNY MCCARTHY in 2019? If you like The Masked Singer, good for you. I also think you are completely deranged.
I also have a bone to pick with that Carmen Sandiego show they made. We all know that Carmen Sandiego is a criminal. Beneath that red hat is a sticky-fingered filcher. And yet in this show she’s a Robin Hood figure? That’s super lame. Gumshoes chase down Sandiego and her goons for the Chief and A.C.M.E. So shall it always be in my heart.
The winner of worst show name of the year? That has to go to NOS4A2. Baffled? Are you familiar with Nosferatu? Try reading it again. Yes, you got it now. Yes, it is that dumb.
I haven’t watched The Misery Index. I did see about one million ads for it during the baseball playoffs, though. Well, I saw the same two or three ads like 200,000 times a piece. Well, I saw the first couple seconds of them, because I always immediately muted them or turned the channel. That show looks like pure garbage. I hate the premise. I despite everything about it. I am sad Jameela Jamil is part of it.
To end, I must give a shout out to a show I never liked, and watched as even its most diehard fans seemed to all turn on it. I speak, of course, of a show that ended its run in 2019. I’m talking the juggernaut that is Game of Thrones. I thought it was bad from the beginning. Nothing I ever heard or saw changed my mind. Then they left a coffee cup in a scene. Then a bunch of lunatics created a petition to have the final season remade so it could be “done right.” In the end, nobody seemed happy. Except, perhaps, all the people who got mad rich off of it. They can laugh all the way to the bank. I’ll be laughing at their turkey of a final season.