The Fifty Shades of Grey series gave a rise in the BDSM culture, which was already in practice but not in the limelight. Christian Grey and his red room of pain created awareness in people about BDSM [bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism], but it is not all about an insanely rich man with unique sexual needs. BDSM is difficult to understand and you cannot rely on an adult fiction for that. In BDSM relations, the dominant person has the role of authority, while the submissive is under the dominant’s control. This relation can be developed between BDSM lifestyle practitioners or with a professional, but finding BDSM lifestyle practitioners can be really difficult.
Fifty Shades of Grey also gave rise to the attraction in polarity, and looking for a person who is willing to get into a dom-sub relation with consent is quite difficult. A factor to keep in mind is that people who prefer kink are as normal as those who prefer vanilla, and there is nothing wrong with those who like to get rough in bed. In order to get into a BDSM relation, you must understand a few basics of this alluring and sensual world:
It is not always whipping and chains. Not always pain. There are toys that can arouse you instead of hurting you.
Consent is the key. You don’t have to do something you are not comfortable with. They are stop words that can signal your partner on when you have had enough.
It is not always technical. It can be as simple as possible.
It is essential that you do your research before getting into a BDSM relation. It is not merely the handcuffs and blindfold you get at a bachelorette party; it goes far more beyond that.
The acronym SSC [Safe, Sane, Consensual] is what a BDSM scene is built on. Also, in the BDSM community ‘hook-ups’ are called ‘scene.’
It is not porn – definitely not porn. Neither is a spontaneous act. Lots of conversations are done before to actually decide on what one is comfortable with.
You can negotiate and put a limit on what you decide to do or do not want to do.