5 Songs The Spice Girls Must Perform: From A Spice Boy’s Perspective

May 31st 1998 was one of the darkest days in the history of history. Millions of people lost what they wanted, what they really really wanted. Those darks times are now over. All you need is a passport, airfare, and directions to Wembley Stadium.

As we know from every 90’s kid, teenager, mom, and dad rejoicing, the Spice Girls are reuniting. Although Posh will not be joining, four is better than none, and hell, Sporty was always my favorite. For me, just seeing them sitting together again is surreal.

Now I was a fan when I was a child, but I wouldn’t say obsessed, I just highly respected them. I’ll just say it; I’m an unashamed Spice boy. They’re still on my Spotify playlist and I might still watch Spiceworld from time to time. I may also have a detailed ranking of each lady, but let’s save that for another article. And yes, there may have been a poster or two.

In celebration of their reunion and in the hopes they announce US dates soon, so I don’t have to wipe out my savings account, I have made a list of songs that I believe the Spice Girls should perform during their reunion tour. Now this list is not conclusive, but I think it’s a fair addition to “Wannabe” and “Spice Up Your Life.”

  1. “If U Can’t Dance”

The ladies opened their original “SpiceWorld Tour” shows in 1998 with this number. For some reason, I’m a little afraid it might be skipped over this time around.  It was never a blockbuster hit, but it’s an essential Spice cut. This number is full of girl power as the ladies exclaim, “If you can’t dance to this, you can’t do nothing for me.” I sure hope it’s the electric slide. I’ve never been swift on my feet.

  1. “Naked”

This is easily one of the ladies’ sexiest tunes. A mash up between this song and their hit “2 Become 1” would be pretty legendary. This would be so legendary, that I have now copyrighted the idea and I will need the ladies to call me if they would like to use it. “Naked” also shows a serious side to the ladies we don’t often see through the peace signs, platform shoes, and extravagant costumes.

  1. “Never Give Up On The Good Times”

This funky tune is one of the ladies’ best.  It’s always been a favorite of mine, especially after seeing Spiceworld. I think it became my favorite on the 15th viewing. It’s got a classic 1970’s disco feel mixed with some down right funky beats.

  1. “Move Over”

Now this song was not used much during the height of the Spice Girls fame. It was used in a Pepsi commercial and sang on tour, but it never gained wide acclaim. I think this song shows a more artistic side to the ladies, but I also think it brings the movement they created full circle as they talk about “generation next.”

  1. “Goodbye”

I know this brings up May 31st again, but hear me out.  Geri technically isn’t on the recorded version of this song, but there’s plenty of room for her. The reason I think they must perform this song is as a farewell to the fans, new and old alike. It’s taken them years to reunite, and with how much time it has taken them, I don’t think we can count on them to do it again. We don’t need Spice Nanas in the next 20 years.

The Spice Girls reunion has me excited for two reasons.

First, the ladies are actually very talented vocalist. I seem to always hear they were sub-par, but once the internet was no longer dial up and I could look up more than one fact a minute, I learned that their harmonies and singing arrangements were real. They came out before auto tune was largely used in the music industry. They aren’t Mariah or Whitney, but they have serious vocal chops.

Second, the ladies introduced me to girl power. For starters, it’s safe to say I had a crush on each member. I still may think about how awesome Sporty and I would be together, but alas they showed me the beauty and sexiness of ladies. This wasn’t what they were aiming for, to ignite 10-year-old boys, but it’s something.

Although what the ladies really taught me was empowerment. They were modern day feminist rephrasing the famous slogan “Women’s rights are human rights.” As much as I agree with them, when I think about this slogan in reverse, “Human rights are women’s rights,” then it talks to anybody who has ever felt second-class or not good enough. They encouraged you to be yourself in every creative way possible and to then accept that creativity.

And I was a seriously weird kid. Trust me.

The Spice Girls were my sexy safe haven as a young boy. Their music, image, and personalities mean a lot to me. They taught me to be proud of my creative mind and that there is a place for my views in this world. They were 5 different girls with completely different public personas, but they all came together to bring us the most unifying tool known to mankind, music.

Now, if you wouldn’t mind, please go to my personal page where I have a petition for the ladies to come to the U.S.

Hai Si Ja, hold tight!

About Gabe Crawford

Contributor at Vents Mag. Vinyl hoarder and music aficionado. Residing in the great state of New York. Will trade work for ice cream.

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