To understand how to keep marriage alive, remember the day you first met, your dates, and intimacy. You tried so hard to get together! You have to do your best to make your partner dive into romance and enjoy both the preparations and the process. However, what could happen in ten years? The severe destiny make its corrections offering you plenty of daily household duties, exhaustive jobs, bills, social media, and the rest of routine that we cannot turn down or postpone. In this situation, you have little time left for your close people. That’s why your love faded. But as soon as you’ve noticed the changes and understood you want a better life for your beloved, you receive the power to revive romance after marriage.
Take every chance to please your other half with small proofs of your appreciation
Don’t ever stop expressing your gratitude to your partner through years. They do need to know that you value them. No matter if you are together two years or twenty, do it. Express yourself in such ways: bring roses, cook her/his favorite dish, offer some little cute knickknacks and jewelry, or just send little love messages like “I need you”, “Thinking of you”, “Want to feel you close all day”, and the most common “I love you” in chart, voice mail, email, on the napkin, etc. You can also send your spouse a love letter. Quite old-fashioned, this gesture is the romance itself. It needs little effort and time to make your loved one happy – you don’t need to get the moon you promised ten years ago. After all, what is a good marriage if not keeping romance alive despite all the difficulties?
Put quality time in your daily schedule
Being in love implies spending time together enjoying the presence of each other. You have quality time when you devote your personal time to your partner without any third party, be it your laptop, smartphone or friends. “Dig out” some gap in your busy schedule to show how much you value your spouse, spend a 30 minutes’ heart-to-heart talk. Learn how to keep a marriage alive step by step.
What’s more, just being near is not enough: spending your time with your partner, you should be with him or her both physically and mentally. Discussions of problems at work, extra expenditures on bills, day plans and all the urgent troubles should be excluded from the list of topics. Focus on your relationships. It is high time to show your interest in the feelings of your spouse if you notice that he or she is out of tune. This is when you can joke, dance, sing, offer massage and have dinner. Make it your new must-do item in the daily plan. You will be impressed by the positive changes!
To get rid of a vicious circle of relationships, do something together. Cross out from your schedule everything standing in the way to your plans in order to clear some space for romance after marriage. The activity you choose depends on your interests and hobbies. If your spouse had interests in the past, offer to start a common hobby, at least for some period. Did he like skating? Nice, buy skates, ask your soulmate to help you master the craft, and buy a season ticket for both to the skating arena. Is there any activity you wanted to try together? Great! For instance, both of you like tango but have never attended classes – go for dancing courses together to dive into the atmosphere and discover new sides of one another. Or, perhaps, you are just exhausted. Then offer your loved one to go on a romantic vacation, and let the whole world wait until you charge your batteries and feel happy enough to come back to the daily duties. Change your routine life to light up romance.
Did you remember your first year? You were busy at work, or in the university, or combining both, but nothing could prevent you from spending time with your other half! As soon as the date was appointed, you referred some part of your duties to colleagues, asked academic services for satisfying “paper help online” request and ran to the date.
Make night dating your regular practice
Invent the time machine and come back to your couple ten years ago: you were happy, a little younger, a burden of problems was less heavy, and you didn’t even think of romance after marriage. What did you do at that time you can’t or don’t afford now? There are some things/ activities. For instance, night dating, that made both of you happy long before the meeting itself ten years ago.
Try to reconstruct that attitude in your night dating. Plan your first night date now. Think of your clothes, your makeup, accessories, dinner, place to visit, invitation (how you will inform your partner of this special night). Be nice and charming. Redirect your extra job duties, or postpone them, hire a babysitter to make sure your children are in good hands. Believe me, you can do it with a little time and budget! It is worth the efforts because the reward is just great: you will remind yourself why your partner is precious to you. Make one more step to a happy life!
Be generous in words
Being together for a long time, couples tend to take one another for granted. One of the primary reasons why romance after marriage is so fragile is that our partners get used to each other. Unfortunately, it is not rare. As a result, people forget to express their gratitude for a daily help they get from one another expecting that the person will not stop doing it. Have you noticed such a tendency in your life? It is so easy to say “thank you” to your partner for being helpful, to say compliments or to express your appreciation and gratitude for support in any other way.
Be patient at issue
All relationships face complications and obstacles. We encounter daily stresses, quarrels, and tension centered on family ties, finances, or even politics. Sometimes it seems impossible to understand your partner’s point of view, or to support his ideas. You should not agree on every point, but you have to listen to your loved one every time he or she wants to express an opinion. In this way, you show him your respect. No matter what is the problem you encountered, discuss it without expressing your anger, irritation, and shouting. Try to come to solution satisfying both.
All above points were focused on your other half, but this one is about you. You do have to make efforts to be happy in a wedlock: read the literature, attend workshops and seminars that will help you to distress and improve your self-esteem. To make sure you are capable of keeping romance alive, you should learn to forgive, be more patient and less selfish. No one is perfect! But only trying to become a better version of ourselves we grow. Evaluating your weaknesses, you will not only conquer your inner daemons and feel much better, but also learn how to appreciate your partner.
Hold to a promise
What is a good marriage based on? Trust is the decent basement, which is though very fragile and you can easily break it by over-promising. It is much better to take a pause to weight if you can accomplish it than to disappoint your significant other and make multiple attempts to regain. Trust is like a mirror. Having once broken it, you could do your best to make the pieces stick together, but despite any actions, the crack will still be visible.
Have a pastime with your friends
Giving your spouse a promise to love and cherish, you did not mean to enclose yourself within four walls. You have to live life to the fullest to be capable of keeping romance alive. It includes hobbies, meetings with friends and relatives and the rest of activities which you like to participate in. To make another person happy, you should be happy too!
Don’t underestimate the role of a touch
Do you know about the healing effect of touch? Embracing and even holding the hand of your partner, you charge him or her with positive energy as showing this way your appreciation, you keep your passion for one another. There is no successful marriage without physical intimacy, it is true. And you have multiple chances to make your routine more exciting due to warm hugs on the threshold, unexpected sensual morning kiss or pure romantic kiss lasting little longer. Keeping romance alive is charming!
Your partner’s and your views on romance can differ. To keep romance for as long as the life, you need to learn the preferences of your spouse and make him or her enjoy your conjugal romance after marriage. If your preferences and interests always occupy the first position in your list, your best half can find too little place in your marriage to stay. Invest in your relationships to enjoy the awards that love brings daily to those who value it!